11 Tips to Get The Most Benefit from EMDR
Let’s Get You Ready
Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy is effective, proven, and efficient, but it can also be daunting for some people. We’ve had a lot of clients express uncertainty, anxiety, concern, or curiosity around the process. If you’re also feeling that, it’s normal. Our nervous systems can up-regulate when there’s the thought or concern about upcoming discomfort. With that, being well prepared can help reduce concern on the front end, as well as smooth the process during EMDR. Let’s talk about some tips to get the most out of EMDR.
1. Understand What EMDR Therapy Involves
They say information is power so it can be helpful to get information on the process before starting EMDR. We have a lot of great information on this site about EMDR, but a quick recap is that EMDR involves finding and then reprocessing past traumatic memories which helps desensitize the charge they have and subsequently reduce or eliminate the triggers. There’s a several step process: history taking, preparation, assessment, desensitization, installation, body scan, closure, and reevaluation.
To help with the processing, EMDR uses alternating stimulation of the mind, also called bilateral stimulation. Usually this is eye movements or tones that play back and forth, but it can also be tactile.
It’s also important to know that EMDR does not require you to talk about the trauma in depth. As therapists we only need a very small amount of information which can be the approximate age something happened, how strong it is in your system on a 0-10 scale, and a brief description of the belief (e.g. I am unsafe), emotions, and physical sensations. For an extremely sensitive memory sometimes we can work with even less. So rest assured, we don’t need to sit and talk about it for what could feel like an eternity while you have to relive the trauma prior to even working on it.
2. Get to Know Your Therapist
One of the most important parts of therapy is the relationship with your therapist. This becomes more and more important the deeper the work you want to do, and trauma work is usually deep work. With this process, feel free to take time to get to know your therapist – this can move at whatever pace you want it to. We’ve worked with clients with the recent trauma protocol that want to dive in first session, we’ve also worked with clients who want to take it slow and start EMDR after a few months. With this, know you have control. This is a mutual process and we’re not going to push you in to something you don’t want to do.
3. Set Clear Intentions and Goals
One of the upsides of EMDR is its flexibility in where you want to go with things. Do you want to process some recent trauma? Childhood trauma generally? A specific event that happened 15 years ago? All of these are options. That said, having a clear understanding of what you want to accomplish or change in your life can be helpful. Present day, are you struggling with anxiety, self-esteem, reactivity in relationships? It can be helpful to start at the present and work your way backwards. However, you do it, take a little time and set some intentions or goals with what you’d like to get out of EMDR and where you’d like to be in 3, 6, 12 months
4. Practice Relaxation Techniques
The deeper and more fruitfully we work, often the more difficult it can be. Because of that, EMDR can sometimes bring up pretty intense or challenging feelings, thoughts, or somatic responses. Although this is a normal part of the process that we want to embrace, that doesn’t mean we can’t have some good relaxation and coping techniques. We often teach our clients the spiral technique, deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, meditation, or other similar de-escalation options. Feel free to provide some guidance on what you think would be a good fit or what you feel has worked well in the past. Regardless of what you choose, the more practice the more you’ll be able to effectively utilize the skill.
5. Create a Support System
Connection is essential to humans. It’s easy to lose sight of that in the hustle and bustle of the modern world, but having a good social support system is imperative not just generally, but especially when embarking on a therapy journey. With any therapy, EMDR included, part of the goal is to change impactful things and move to a state of higher functioning. That requires effort, work, and sometimes hardship. Make sure you have a good support system in place, and ideally ones that are speficially aware that you are going to be working on trauma. As stated earlier, knowledge is power and the more knowledge, and connection, that friends or family can have the more support they can provide.
6. Prioritize Self-Care
Caring for yourself is important, especially when processing past trauma. I don’t want to create doom and gloom, sometimes the EMDR process is fairly easy and straight-forward. Sometimes it’s more intense and involved. Either way, self-care can be amazingly helpful for coping or just general quality of life. Find some time to connect with yourself, read a book, get in nature, spend time with a friend, do a hobby, or tons of other options. Also make sure to attend to your physical self. Eat well, get good sleep (which correlates with processing trauma), exercise….movement is medicine.
7. Journal Your Thoughts and Feelings
Keeping a journal can be an incredibly helpful way to process what came up in a recent EMDR session. Although most of the processing happens during the session and during bilateral stimulation (BLS), that doesn’t always stop the second the session ends. Tracking and writing down what new thoughts, somatic sensations, or emotions come up can be beneficial to help you work through them as well as to potentially bring to session. Some of our clients have uncovered new trauma to process through journaling or dream journaling. There’s also specific or prompted journaling that can help with self-care during EMDR. For instance if you’re working on “I am not good enough”, keep a daily journal of something that made you feel “good enough” from that day.
8. Be Patient with the Process
Time heals all wounds. Well, kind of….if that was completely true we wouldn’t need EMDR nearly as much. But even EMDR takes some time and the healing process is not always linear. There are ups and downs on the path for most people and keeping this is mind is helpful. Trust the process and know that just because something feels more present or raw, that often means change is happening. I use the example of being out of breath in a workout, or soreness afterwards. They may not be my favorite parts of a work out but they’re both ways I know that growth is happening.
9. Communicate Openly with Your Therapist
You’re the boss and it’s your life. Our therapists love when you communicate about how you’re feeling about EMDR and the process. This feedback is important to helping your process, helping you feel empowered, and tailoring the process to get the best results. At the end of the day the therapist is there to support you on your journey. We have input and collaboration but you have the ability to speak your mind, assert yourself, and have input. Not to circle back around to it too much but…knowledge is power for the therapist also. We do a great job at reading behavioral and non-verbal information, but explicit verbal information is immensely helpful.
10. Give Yourself Time to Reflect After Sessions
EMDR sessions can give a lot for people to think about, process, and reflect on afterwards. If you’re able to clear your calendar and provide a bit of space after session it can facilitate the process as well as take pressure off of you. Life is life sometimes and if we have kids, work, or other obligations then we do the best we can – but if possible, try to prioritize a little down-time afterwards.
11. Stay Committed, Even When It’s Hard
A huge hallmark of success and achievement is “Grit”, a term psychologists use to a combination of passion and perseverance. This grit, or the ability to push towards a goal even when difficult, is hugely helpful to any self-growth process. Of course we want people to honor themselves if something is just too much, but we balance that with the knowledge that you have the ability to profoundly grow when you set your mind, body, and time to something. We believe in you, hopefully you can also.
Parting Thoughts
Staring any therapy, EMDR included, is a courageous step towards healing, self-growth, and nurturing self-compassion. As with any journey, preparation can be helpful. So keep in mind the above tips for preparing for EMDR and you’ll hopefully find the experience easier, faster, and more fruitful. And always, trust yourself in the process. If you want to get started, please reach out and we’re happy to talk more about EMDR and if it’s a good fit for you. Reach out today.